Raven
by Not A Pretty Girl
Summary: An introspective piece on Heero and his feelings for Relena.


Raven  
  
It was raining. Typical. Every time he was on guard duty it seemed to be raining. He had that kind of luck.   
  
The rain poured down in steady droplets, each one splattering noisily on his face and Preventer's uniform. The weight of the water made his normally unruly brown hair even more unmanageable, and it stuck plastered to his forehead when the rainwater become to much to bear.  
  
Noin had told him he was on duty all night. Relena had some after hours work to attend to. Not that it mattered, he didn't need sleep. If his mission called for it, he would go days on end without closing his eyes. It was all for the sake of keeping the peace. And keeping Relena alive. Or at least that's what he told himself. Sometimes he wondered if he agreed to this job just so he would have a chance to be closer to her.  
  
*Yuy,* the young man addressed himself, shifting positions so he was no longer leaning up against the slick stone walls of the palace. *If you become a threat to your own mission…*  
  
He let the thought go uncompleted, his eyes narrowed in thought. His feelings, or lack there of, towards Relena had no place here. Or anywhere for that matter.  
  
  
Hearing the sound of approaching footsteps, Heero's hand immediatley went for his gun. He turned towards the sound, gun locked and ready to fire. Whoever was approaching him put their hands up in a sign of obvious surrender.  
  
  
"Don't fire. It's me, Officer Sanders! I have a message to give to a Heero Yuy."  
  
"That's me." Heero replied gruffly, reluctantly lowering the gun and starting towards the officer, pushing the matted hair out of his eyes as he did so. Sanders began breathing again as soon as his life stopped flashing before his eyes and offered his would-be killer a weak smile.   
  
"The Interior guard has been called off, something about more important matters that couldn't wait." Sanders began, reeling off the facts that he had been told. "All Exterior guards have been told to change posts and defend from the inside."   
  
Heero raised an eyebrow. This was unfortunate, yet not unexpected. Interior soldiers were getting for incompetent everyday. "Mission accepted." He intoned, brushing passed Sanders without another word. The officer blinked at his strange behavior, and shrugged. He was just glad he got out of an encounter with Yuy without any trouble. And he still had all his limbs attached, which was an extra bonus.  
  
"This is the last time I draw the short straw…" Sanders muttered into the rain, taking over Heero's vacated post, rubbing his hands together to try and stay warm. "That is one weird guy."  
  
Although Heero heard his comments, he chose to ignore them, stepping inside the building and shaking the rainwater off like a dog coming in from a summer storm. He walked briskly down the hallways stopping in front of the closed doors that led into Relena's office. He stood directly in front of them, his hand millimeters away from the silver door handle, fighting an inner struggle about whether or not he should enter.  
  
*There's no reason to.* he debated, standing there like a fool, his hand shaking slightly. *She's busy. It's out of line. Just focus on the mission.*   
  
"Heero?"  
  
At the sound of his name, Heero whirled around instantly, his outstretched hand snapping to his side. He turned to see Lady Une standing there, clutching a stack of manila folders and looking at him quite curiously. He tried to scowl at her but ended up with a look that resembled a little boy getting caught doing something wrong.   
  
"What?" he asked quickly, countering Une's raised eyebrow with a death glare of his own. She smiled and shrugged.   
  
"Nothing, carry on."   
  
Heero watched her continue on down the hall warily, the muscle in his neck twitching. He couldn't believe he had almost been caught in his moment of weakness. At least she hadn't commented on it.   
  
"Oh, by the way Heero," Lady Une called over her shoulder from the far end of the hall. Heero cringed. He had spoken too soon.   
  
"If you're wondering about how to open the door, all you do it pull the handle. It's not that complex, especially for an esteemed pilot like yourself. But do call me if you need help." Chuckling to herself, she rounded the corner, completely missing the fact that the great and indestructible Heero Yuy was blushing.  
  
Furious with himself, Heero stepped away from Relena's door, arms crossed, eyes alert for any intruders. It was bad enough debating whether or not to enter Relena's office, but of course someone had to witness it as well.   
  
*What is it about that girl?* Heero asked silently, allowing himself a sidelong glance at the still closed door. *She reminds me of something from long ago.* He sighed and shifted positions, his right foot starting to get numb. The answer to his question was dangerously close to surfacing, but it was exactly what he did not want to hear. If he pushed it back, pretended it away, perhaps it wouldn't be true after all.  
  
*You love her.*   
  
So much for that. Heero growled and clenched his hand, upset once again that the thoughts he had were no longer his own. *That's ridiculous. I admire her, of course. She's strong, and optimistic, and motivated. And beautiful. And funny. And full of life. Stop it. You'll give yourself a headache.*  
  
Why couldn't he just admit it to himself? No one else would have to know. He couldn't run from his feelings forever, even if he didn't act on them. And if no one knew, he couldn't be hurt.   
  
*I love you, Relena.* he thought slowly, weighing every word. And as soon as he did, his heart felt that much lighter. Peering closely around the hall to make sure it was once again deserted, Heero approached the door once more. His hand twitched at his side, and he glanced quickly at the handle, begging to be opened.   
  
But instead, Heero sat quietly on the ground next to the door, curling his knees up in front of him like a small child once again and leaning his head against the doorframe. It was a secret, his secret. He smiled at the thought and pressed his ear against the door, listening to the small quiet sounds of papers shuffling and pens scratching. And her breathing. As long as he could hear that, he could feel happy.  
  
  
  
R+R+R+R+R. Whoah..too many R's... Come on, it's hard to get inside Heero's head! It made my own head hurt. Owwie.. 


End file.
